How My Teenager Can Survive High School - Part 6

We are living in a world that is becoming more and more difficult every day.  We see examples of this in the fact that many people are worried about losing their houses and not having enough money to retire.  We also see this in our increasing concerns regarding terrorist attacks.  If adults are becoming more stressed due to our changing world, how can we expect our teenagers not to be experiencing increased stress in their daily lives.  If we want to help our teenagers survive high school, we need to help them learn how to manage the stress they are experiencing.

Many people believe that teenagers live carefree lives and do not get depressed or do not get anxious. This is far from the true.  Currently among teenagers suicide has reached an epidemic rate so has cutting reached an epidemic rate. Cutting is when a person purposely uses a sharp object to cut or scratch themselves.  The teenager finds it easier to deal with the physical pain rather than cope with the emotional pain. Also there are many teenagers who are clinically depressed and taking anti-depressants. Therefore, our teenagers do not live the carefree lives many of us think they do and in fact most of our teenagers are dealing with tremendous amounts of stress.

Many people may ask what do teenagers have to be stressed about?  Teenagers today are stressed about the pressure to succeed in school, being exposed to drugs, having to deal with gangs, copying with the pressure to fit in and the teasing and bullying if they don't fit in.  Also teenagers are having to deal with the stress that their families may not be able to afford the basic necessities of life.  In other words, our teens are having to deal with the stress of living in these difficult financial times.  Teenagers today are also stressed due to the fact that they have to learn to live in a violent world.  The teenagers today are the first generation of teenagers who have to worry about terrorist attacks.  In addition to having to worry about terrorist attacks our teenagers today have to worry about violent attacks in their own community or at their own school.  The recent events in Colorado are an example of what our teenagers are having to live with. 

As a result, many teenagers don't worry about the future because they are not sure if there is going to be a future. Therefore, we are seeing more and more teenagers that are living just for the day.  They do not think about nor do they worry about the consequences of their actions.  Many teenagers are adopting an attitude of living for the moment because they are not sure if there is going to be a tomorrow.  With this belief school does not seem very important and therefore many teenagers no longer worry about school.  As a result of this belief system, we are seeing more teenagers who are dealing with depression, anxiety disorders and eating disorders just to name a few of the issues that teenagers are currently dealing with today.

If we want our teenagers to succeed in high school we need to help them learn how to cope with the stress they are experiencing.  We can do this by providing teenagers with examples of how to cope with stress.  Therefore, parents will want to take time to talk with their teenagers to determine how stressed their teenager is and talk with their teenager about their stress or seek treatment for their teenager if the teenager's stress level is severe.  Furthermore, as a society we need to make our teenagers a priority and provide them with programs in the schools that will help them have a chance to express their stress and fears.

As a parent, you will want to watch your teenager for behavioral changes. If you notice a significant change in their grades or study habits, this can be an indicator that your teenager is dealing with stress and/or anxiety. Also if you notice a personality change, a change in their friends or if you notice that your teenager no longer enjoys activities that they use to enjoy, these can also be indicators that your teenager is dealing with stress and/or anxiety. Other changes that may indicate that your teenager is feeling stressed are difficulties sleeping and a change in their appetite either an increase or a decrease.  If you notice any of these changes or if something just doesn't seem right to you, talk to your teenager and ask if there are any problems. If you feel you cannot determine if there is a problem yourself or if you want to get a second opinion, make an appointment with a mental health professional. There is no shame in having your teenager assessed by a a therapist.  If your teenager needs therapy it does not mean they are crazy nor does it mean that you are a bad parent. It simply means that they need some assistance dealing with an issue.  And given the amount of stress that most people have to deal with in their lives most people can benefit from therapy at some time during their life. Therefore, as a parent if you're wanting to help your teenager survive high school do not be afraid to seek help for your teenager. Remember you are a role model for your teenager. If you do not act embarrassed about seeking help, you will make it easier for your teenager to accept help.

As I stated above we are living in a time when most people are dealing with significant amounts of stress. We can see this in the increase in the suicide rate, the increase in drug overdoses and we can see this in the increase in the number of violent acts occurring in our society and in our schools. Therefore, if you feel your teenager is dealing with anxiety and/or stress do not be afraid to seek treatment. You may be saving your teenagers life and you definitely will make it easier for your teenager to survive high school. As always if you have any questions or comments please feel free to e-mail me at Drmike@rcs-ca.com